


If on Earth We Meet No More, We Hope to Meet in Heaven

by AsinineK9



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Assisted Suicide, Fluff, I can't believe I killed off my babes, M/M, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Soft Boys, Suicide, ignashe, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:53:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23114254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsinineK9/pseuds/AsinineK9
Summary: Ashe and Ignatz have a suicide pact. They thought they'd never need to use it, but the day came where they did.One of them didn't go through on the deal.(Title based off of the hymn "The Vineyard")
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Ignatz Victor
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	If on Earth We Meet No More, We Hope to Meet in Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever really angsty fic!! Usually I write fluffy, hurt/comfort type stuff, but today it's just the hurt. 
> 
> Ignashe is so cute, they're both such soft bois
> 
> Song I listened to while writing this: If The World Was Ending by JP Saxe, Julia Michaels
> 
> Please leave a kudos if you liked it, as it lets me know you enjoyed the work, and leaving kudos is completely free!

Shoot after the count of one. Three, two, one, shoot. They had gone over it a million times. They had to, they were nervous. Neither of them could fully grasp the concept of not having life anymore. What would it feel like? It wouldn't feel like anything. That was hard to understand, not feeling anything. They were always feeling things.

The closest Ashe had ever come to suicide was when Lenato fell in battle. The only real father Ashe had ever known, gone, reduced to a bleeding corpse. Ashe dealt with a fair amount of loss and change in his life, growing up on the streets while raising his siblings, but nothing compared to what his father's death left him to deal with. He was at the monastery, surrounded by friends and housemates, but in the few days following, Ashe never felt so alone. He'd never get to see his father again, thank him once more for saving him, show his love for the man. 

So full of grief and sadness, Ashe only wanted the pain to stop. 

Ignatz was the one to find him.

Out for a late night inspiration stroll, Ignatz happened to pass by the garden. Thank the Goddess he did, because otherwise, Ashe would have died that night. Ignatz knew he shouldn't have been awake at that time, so he was confused to find another person out. He called out to the body, unaware of who the figure was. He simply asked who was there and if everything was okay, but in response the figure shrunk in on itself and started to shake with sobs.

Ignatz rushed to whoever it was and sat down next to them, soon realizing it was the grey haired boy from the Blue Lions- Ashe. He didn't know much about Ashe, save for that he was an archer too. He had something gripped tightly in his the hand that wasn't clutching his knees and pulling them to his chest. Ignatz couldn't see well, as it was dark out and his vision was never the best anyway, but it was clear that Ashe was holding an unsheathed dagger. Ignatz carefully pulled a little on the blade, and Ashe let go quite easily. Ashe didn't want to die, he only wanted the pain to stop.

When Ashe lifted his head, he was greeted with a warm, sympathetic smile by someone he barely knew.

Realizing the situation, Ashe was a little embarrassed. What was he to do then? Swear it's not what it looked like? Beg and plead for Ignatz to not tell anyone, especially Dimitri or the Professor? Admit his intentions and spill his reasoning?

Ignatz disrupted his thinking, holding out a clean handkerchief for Ashe to wipe his tears with. Ashe took it, and with whatever shaky voice he could manage, thanked Ignatz for the consolation. Ignatz simply nodded. The two archers sat in the garden for a bit, Ashe needing the support even if it was from someone he didn't know, Ignatz not wanting to leave someone so broken to their own devices. 

Ashe didn't remember accepting any offer, but he found himself following to Ignatz' dorm room to have some food and water before heading back to his own dorm to sleep. On their way over, they started talking. Not about the events that may have transpired had Ignatz not been there, not about Ashe's intentions, but about normal things, so Ashe could start to feel half way to normal again. The two boys discovered things about each other. They were both archers. Ignatz had a secret passion for art. Ashe knew how to cook. Ignatz had a lot of pressure on him from his parents. Ashe put a lot of pressure on himself. Ignatz needed someone to teach him how to be a better archer. Ashe knew how to teach archery.

To repay Ignatz, though secretly also to hopefully bribe him into not telling any knights that he was considering suicide, Ashe offered to secretly give Ignatz archery lessons after dark. Yes, it would be hard to see the target, but no one needed to know Ashe was helping a student from another house. Ignatz completely understood.

Soon after the lessons started, Ignatz would bring him small treats he'd gotten from the market or that another student made, because Claude was beyond impressed with his progress in archery. Ashe may have taken these thank-you gifts the wrong way, as he was soon noticing certain... feelings during these secret lessons. But between the thank-you pastries and little drawings, banter and laughter during the lessons, and budding friendship, who wouldn't start developing feelings? 

Ignatz hoped his gifts gave the effect he wanted them to, because when the ball rolled around, he planned to ask Ashe to dance with him, romance implied. Blushing like an idiot, of course Ashe told Ignatz he felt the same. The boys came to the ball as an established pair, friends asking how they got together and if they were dating, boyfriends, more? 

Being held in Ignatz' arms that night, Ashe had never felt more loved before. Being with Ashe that night, Ignatz had never felt more like he belonged.

News of the new couple spread quickly, and died out soon. It was soon normal to walk the halls and find them sitting next to each other, or see them laying on the docks pointing at clouds telling each other what animals they looked to be, or find them in the greenhouse while Ashe showered Ignatz with compliments as he painted the flowers, or cuddling in the garden after dark, limbs entangled, Ashe telling old stories that he heard of famous knights when he was young, Ignatz listening intently while softly kissing the other boy's forehead every so often just to fluster him and make him forget his train of thought. When one was late to class, so was the other. When one smiled, it filled the other with so much joy that he smiled too.

After months of being together, it surprised Ashe that Ignatz brought up the night that they met. They pretty much had a silent agreement not to speak of it again, as Ashe was in a better place emotionally and didn't need the bad memories. Some village attacked the monastery for who knows what reason, and the two boys had to fight apart, both receiving injuries, one falling near death because of his. While recovering, Ignatz brought up that night for a terribly dark reason. He asked Ashe if he would want to create a suicide pact. He didn't want to die in battle, he didn't want Ashe to die in battle, he wanted the two to be able to control their deaths and be together through that new experience. While Ashe agreed to it after much coaxing, he swore on Lenato's grave that they would never need to use it. They would always find a way through battles and problems together, no matter how big or small. After all, they loved each other. Ignatz gave Ashe a tender kiss at his words, as he had done so many times before.

One night, a few months later, the students were awoken by the screams of other monastery staff members and their respective house leaders quickly banging on their doors before moving to the next. They were ordered to put on their battle gear and get outside immediately- the monastery was under attack by a powerful force that they would need all three houses to have a chance at defeating. Through the battle, Ignatz was struck twice, thankfully his uniform was able to take the brunt of the hits. Focused on battle, he barely noticed his lover had come up to him, yelling and bleeding and pulling at his arms to get him to go with him. Ashe didn't let go of Ignatz' arm, and wouldn't turn to face him until the reached the garden which had yet to be invaded by the attackers.

Ashe had tears streaming down his face, and tried to speak something, though Ignatz could not make out the words through the boy's sobbing. Ignatz quickly scanned Ashe up and down, and found no obvious injuries. He took a few breaths in with his fellow archer, and asked him to speak.

It took a moment for Ashe to get the words out, as he had realized what he was saying far before he said it.

Ignatz' blood drained to his feet, and though he wished more than anything it wouldn't happen, he understood why. The monastery was failing terribly- he noticed the corpses of many classmates strewn across the ground while on the way to the garden. 

Ashe had asked Ignatz something he swore on his father's grave he would never do; Ashe asked to go through with the pact. Ignatz closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to Ashe's for a moment before pulling away, looking Ashe in his perfect, sparkly green eyes, and nodding. The calm before the storm.

Since the pact was made, they discussed how it would happen in great detail so nothing would go wrong, so one wouldn't be left to bear the pain of the world without the other.

They gave one last prolonged kiss, trying to remember the feel of each other's lips so maybe they wouldn't forget even when they got to heaven. Then, a hug, to know that they love and support each other for the rest of their time on Earth and always have. They were both crying at this point. Ignatz remembered what it was like to hold Ashe for the first time when they were at the ball, and now he was holding Ashe, the love of his life, for the very last time. They knew they had to pull away eventually, so they both ripped the bandaid off and stepped about twenty feet back from each other.

The two boys aimed at each other's chest, proper stance, just like they had practiced. Just like Ashe had taught.

Three, they counted together. Two. One. The two fired, and shut their eyes tightly, waiting for the burning sensation and then nothingness. 

...

Ignatz was still bracing. Wasn't there supposed to be a flash of pain followed by death? Perhaps he was dying, but the adrenaline from the situation blocked out the pain? He opened his eyes and looked down, expecting to find an arrow protruding from his chest. He found no such thing. 

He looked in front of him to find the love of his life reduced to a bleeding corpse on the ground. He screamed the boy's name, devastated at the sight. Ignatz rushed to Ashe's side, cradling him in his arms. Ashe only had enough energy to move his eyes to look up at Ignatz one last time before the life flickered out of them. 

Ignatz realized what had happened. Ashe shot the arrow past Ignatz on purpose. Ignatz tried to comprehend- to understand why Ashe would have broken the pact. He sat, clutching his love. A solemn moment among the chaos.

Ignatz stopped his thoughts and focused on what was in front of him. He screamed, wailed, sobbed, and begged, for his own death or Ashe's life he wasn't sure. 

Ignatz didn't care about the shouts from enemies, he was too focused on Ashe. Ashe's broken promise. Dammit, he should have known with how caring Ashe is- was, that there was no way Ashe was going to let Ignatz die. The shouts got closer, until the 'Hey, there's more people over here!' followed by yelling got louder and louder until they were right next to him. He didn't care. It didn't matter to him now if he lived or died. He needed to stay with Ashe, or at least what was Ashe, what was left of him. He felt blood rush up his throat and pour out his mouth as he was impaled by a lance, and looked into Ashe's lifeless green eyes once more, grabbing his hand, before closing his own eyes and smiling, knowing the two archers would soon get the chance to reunite in heaven.


End file.
